Don't make out with my wife yet
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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