How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
