Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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