Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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