u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
