Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
