You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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