She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
