i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
