Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
