So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
