I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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