Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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