i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
