My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
