Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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