okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
