Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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