So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
