I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize