They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
