That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
