yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
