I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
