I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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