Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
