I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
