he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
