I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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