I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
