She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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