i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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