if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
