I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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