first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The feeling are messing with the penis
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
