Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
