That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
