I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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