grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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