He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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