i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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