this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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