Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
