Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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