jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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