I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
