So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize