The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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