how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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