You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
