i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
