YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
