the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
