i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
