THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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