He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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