you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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