i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
