I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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