Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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