just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
