why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
