If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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