marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
