If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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