That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
