Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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