Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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