Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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