i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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