Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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