We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
