**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
