Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
wakey wakey hands off snakey
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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